Do you take sugar? One lump or two?
Song lyrics that are wrong but sound so right:
1. Bee Gees - “More than a woman”
Real words: More than a woman, more than a woman to me!
What the Scarylibrarian hears: Bald headed woman, bald headed woman to me!
2. Def Leppard – “Pour some sugar on me”
Real words: Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love. Sweet dream saccharine, loosen up.
What the SLB hears: Sweet dream saccharine, Lucy Liu! Lucy!
3. Peter Gabriel – “Shock the monkey”
Real words: Don’t you know you’ve got to shock the monkey?
What the SLB hears: Don’t you know you’ve got to Jacques the monkey?
4. Sade – “Smooth operator”
Real words: Smooooth operator, he’s a smooooth, operator.
What the SLB hears: Oooh barber-ater. He’s a smooth, barber-ater! (Yes, I know there’s no such thing as a barber-ater.)
5. The Clash –“Rock the Casbah”
Real words: Sharif don’t like it.
What the SLB hears: Sherry don’t like him!
Wordless Chorus
Why I love lists …
1. Soooo instantly gratifying
2. No need to actually complete your sentences
3. No structure? No problem!
4. Crossing stuff out is the ultimate sense of accomplishment
5. Visual record of what you don’t/do get done
6. Never had to turn in a list for an assignment or on deadline. Love that!
7. Helps this terribly disorganized person feel somewhat organized
8. Good format for an endless number of topics. Example lists: Why I hate worms. Why Britney Spears grosses me out and fascinates me at the same time. Reasons why my job rocks. Things I’d rather do instead of cleaning the toilet. French fries: why I hate to love you.
9. A good break from query letter writing, which is so structured and confining sometimes
10. Uses less brainpower that may be required for other endeavors such as haiku, parallel sentence structure, or contemplating the meaning of life
11. Can easily be compiled mentally while running 5 miles on a treadmill
12. Could seriously go on forever. (Forever, ever?)
