Wanna be starting something
More adventures into eigth grade behavior ...
The Scarylibrarian War
continues!
Girl, quit trying to imitate ... you are a Fake Fendi purse on a card table at the flea market!
Oh
Eminem - now I know how you feel when you say I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady/all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating/So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
The battle's almost won, cause we're only several miles from the sun
Make that only several million miles from the sun. Large distances in space are calculated using Astronomical Units (AU), and one AU is equal to the distance from the sun to the earth ... which is a cool 93 million miles.
I'm dead tired and I'm CRANKY! I haven't been sleeping enough. Once upon a time I loved the night life (I loved to boogie, on the disco round, oh yeah) and now if I don't fall asleep by ten I'm a mess the next day. The lack of sleepage is entirely my fault; I keep staying up to watch crap that's rotting my brain past the point of no return. One thing I need to quit watching is My Super Sweet 16 on MTV. It's like passing a car wreck on the freeway or watching a gum chewing Britney Spears being interviewed - you want to turn away but a sick need propels you to keep watching. Watch this show and you will get validation for being a decent human being - seeing these bratty 15 year olds throw a fit when Daddy wants to buy a Mercedes instead of a Range Rover for their birthday present is pretty sickening.
Got a blast from the past and a shocking reminder of how much time has slipped by yesterday. Two good friends from high school band e-mailed me. Scarylibrarian fun fact number one: The Scarylibrarian once toted around an instrument and walked in time to the music on a field ... I can high mark time like you've never seen it done. Fun Fact two: once upon a time, this blog was titled was "Confessions of an Ex-Band Geek". Anyway, I hadn't heard or seen these girls since the 90s so it was really nice to talk to them. One of the girls got married to her high school sweetheart and had a baby on New Years day. That somehow has to be celestially significant. What's weird to me is that time doesn't seem to have passed that quickly, but it has been enough for people to get married and to have kids. Is time moving quickly, or am I moving to slowly?
Here's your assignment for the day: check out
43things.com and then write your list. Here are my first ten:
1. Write for a living
2. Live in a foreign country
3. Learn Tagalog
4. To have a greenhouse and grow exotic plants
5. Learn a martial art, and therefore, kick ass.
6. To gain muscle/or be able to do more than one push up
7. To be less messy and more organized.
8. To accept that I cannot control everything; things will happen in the universe and I cannot do anything about them
9. To be like more my mother: she's patient, kind, and tries to see the best in every one.
10. To learn the common and scientific names of all the plants on my street
Together we'll break these chains
YES!
I just turned in the last of the health stories I've been working on. I'm free to now write as many queries as I'd like and I'm free to command more than minimum wage for my writing services.
YES!
Last night was marked with two lovely gifts. The first came in the form of a rejection letter from Good Housekeeping magazine. Do not be saddened, fair reader. I'm just glad they replied. To reject me is to recognize that I'm (ha ha ha) a professional.
Here's a few hints for the second: pink, fits in your hand, and can make you sing over and over again. It's not what you think, you dirty birdie! It's an oh-so-lovely
iPod mini. I've named her Pinky. The Boyfriend is a computer guy, who expresses his devotion by bestowing various electronic trinkets. People laugh when I tell them that there's four computers at our house, because B.T.B. (before The Boyfriend) I didn't even own a television and had no idea what the words "wireless network" meant. Happy Valentines day to me. I've been walking around with 400 songs all day! It's blowing my mind!
Love to, love to, love you
You know it’s a good day when you see a dozen men who aren’t gardeners carrying bunches of flowers on your way to work. I saw one guy at the top one of the Muni escalators waiting for his sweetie to come up from the underground. He was carrying a huge bouquet of yellow roses. I like that – doing something that’s just a little different. Guys, a few tips:
1. Don’t believe the hype. Red roses are pretty, but find out what her favorite flower is and get a dozen of them instead. If your girl is a geek like me, find out the scientific name as well for her geeky enjoyment. I have a weakness for Zantedeschia aethiopica.
2. Heart shape jewelry if and only if she likes that kind of thing. If she doesn’t wear heart shaped jewelry, chances are she’ll think it’s corny. This applies to other forms of adornment. If she doesn’t wear bracelets, it’s because she doesn’t like to wear them, NOT because she lacks one. Translated: if she doesn’t wear bracelets, don’t buy her a bracelet. Note what type of jewelry she tends to wear and use that for your guideline.
3. Clean her house … without her asking. The other day The Boyfriend and I were watching TV and this commercial comes on where a lady and her man are sitting in a café and she’s crying. The guy goes, “So, the tears are a good thing?” The lady holds up a heart shaped necklace and says, “Yes, the tears are a very good thing.” I turned to The Boyfriend and I said, “If you really want to make a woman cry tears of joy clean her house when she doesn’t expect it.” The Boyfriend started laughing and then abruptly stopped when I sat there with a very serious stare.
Another great thing about Valentine ’s Day: there’s so many different kinds of love, not just romantic love!
I love …
My mom, dad, and brother. Not only do we share genetic material, but also the ability to drive each other nuts beyond comprehension.
My best friendgirls, Cuckoo and Mrs. Sellner. Who else would willingly put up with me for 20 odd years and still laugh at my jokes?
My sweetie. One cool cat! The funniest and nicest guy on the block.
My current dog, Little Evil, and my future dogs, Rufus Wainwright and Dr. Faustus.
My unattainable celebrity crushes: Helo from Battlestar Galactica (HELLO!), Detective Stabler from Law and Order, Joaquin Phoenix, and shamefully, that dude from Maroon 5.
Usually I’m not one to walk around quoting the Bible. If you aren’t familiar with it, (don’t worry this is so not a spiel on how your soul need to be saved) there’s a beautiful section called “The Song of Solomon” or “The Song of Songs”. It’s a love poem. It’s placement in the text and tone are unusual, and some interpret it as being a love poem between a person and God. You can google it to read the whole thing, but here’s my favorite snippet:
I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.
As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love.
His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
