Here’s my number and a dime, call me anytime
Dear Christian Bale,I know that you are probably busy with the wife and the new baby and all, but if perchance that you are in the SF Bay Area and have a spare hour or two please feel free to give me a ring so that we can make out. Yes, I’m betrothed. And yes, every time I mention your name to TF he rolls his eyes and grunts. I have somehow justified in my mind that this will still be okay (the whole making out thing.) If you want you can even chase me around the apartment with a chainsaw and some high tops like you did in your cinematic tour de force, “American Psycho.” I would go so far as to consider bearing the fruit of your loins, even if they were creepy twins.
You know where I’m at, Chris (can I call you Chris?) To quote one of the great one hit wonders of the 80s, Skyy, you can …
Call me - if you need someone to talk to-a
Call me - satisfaction guaranteed
Call me - if you need someone to talk to-a
Call me - call me!
Kisses,
The Scarylibrarian
