Got a meeting in the ladies room - I'll be back real soon
SHUT UP AND LISTEN TUESDAYToday’s SHUT UP AND LISTEN TUESDAY is dedicated to the ladies of the office loo (aka, lavatory.)
Office bathroom etiquette 101
1. If you do a victory dance in one of the stalls that includes loud foot stomping, arm rustling, and chanting (ie, “Oh yeah, it’s my birf-day, oh yeah, get busy!”), check to see if there are others present before you begin. Otherwise, you’ll feel REALLY DUMB when you suddenly realize that there are feet in the stall right next to yours.
2. If the janitor is foreign, learn a snippet or two of her native tongue. Por ejemplo (for example), translating the phrase “There’s plenty of toilet paper in this stall” could come in handy. Every few hours in our office bathroom, our Spanish-speaking janitor comes in to change the toilet paper in the three stalls. For some reason my body has the uncanny ability to want to “drop off los ninos” right before the janitor comes in to change the toilet paper. So when I am sitting there in peace and trying to get the deed done, all of the sudden I’ll hear her come in - garbage bags rustling, walkie talkie hissing Espanol, keys jingling. She'll barge into the other stalls and change the toilet paper out of its metal holders using loud and unnecessary force. Because she has to check all of the stalls, she'll sit there and wait for me to finish. Sometimes she'll talk on her walkie talkie. This makes it, um, hard to concentrate. The moral of this story? It really sucks to be in mid-poo while there's somebody else in the bathroom who is waiting to change the toilet paper AND if you can't tell her that there's plenty of toilet paper already in the stall it makes it even more sucky.
3. If you tend to sing or talk to yourself or talk on your cell phone while in the loo, refrain. The stall is not like your car - it isn't soundproof.
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