Thursday, May 06, 2004

What else is in the teaches of peaches?

Things to do when you don’t want to do a boring project that you’ve been extending for two weeks:

1. Google yourself.
2. Attempt to consume as many Ricola cough drops as you can in one hour.
3. Eavesdrop on all the lame conversations occurring near your cube.
4. Read the latest Newsweek that you “borrowed” from your boss’ mail.
5. Adjust your bra straps.
6. Hang out in the bathroom and pretend to poo. Grunt loudly if you so desire.
7. Test the limits of your pain threshold by poking yourself with the cactus on your desk.
8. Contemplate if you can get away with not dying your roots for one more month.
9. Try to scratch your butt in your chair without anybody noticing.
10. Contemplate the car wreck that is Jessica Simpson.
11. Sniffle, for it is allergy season.
12. Sigh loudly.
13. Kegals.
14. Contemplate the Botox phenomenon. Will you fall prey to it in a few years?
15. Listen to “Maps” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs for the umpteenth time.
16. Day dream about the surfboard you want to buy.
17. Make lists.
18. Contemplate the names Celestial Seasonings gives its teas. “Country Peach Passion” is more porn star than herbal blend.
19. Check the Waikiki Web Cam. Yup, still the same tourists looking happy to be away from their usual miserable existence.
20. Yawn.