The Scarylibrarian

In the room women come and go, talking of Michaelangelo

So … wow. I used to love writing in the middle of the night but my newest favorite thing is to write in the morning when my brain has not quite emerged from REM sleep. I was having this bizarre dream right when the alarm went off and I told myself, “Don’t forget this dream!” Of course I can’t remember what the hell it was about. It’s weird to be writing with out really being awake. I feel like I’m stuck in T.S. Eliot’s “The Love Song of J. Alfred Proofrock” or in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants.

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;

Last night I tried to get some work done on my upcoming story but I can’t seem to get past this weird barrier of total and complete apathy. I really, really, really, don’t want to do this story. The allure of getting published has worn off, mostly because the magazine is small, completely uninterested in helping me grow as a writer, and I’m not getting paid enough for the work that I’m putting in. To quote my brother, who despite being stoned for most waking hours, can sometimes be quite eloquent: “Pay your dues and quit whining.” It’s the last story in the series and the plan is to just get it done quick and dirty. Really, though, it’s hard to make the topic of “arthritis” very sexy and interesting.

Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:

I am also kind of irked with the magazine in terms of licensing; they purchased all rights for the stories I’ve done for them and I’ve found that they already allowed the stories to be re-run. I hate knowing that my words now belong to somebody else. I guess I just have to get over it.

Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question …
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

This Friday I’m going with the girls to see Jill Scott perform at the Paramount Theater, one of the coolest examples of art deco style in the Bay Area. The last time I was there when I scored free tickets to watch DJ Spooky after I interviewed him. The performance was kind of “out of my grasp” (aka, I was bored out of my gourd) so I spent more time looking at the architecture than listening to the music. Jill is supposed to be an amazing performer. I can’t wait!

posted by The Scarylibrarian @ 7:00 AM