And we're so rich in love, we're rollin' in cashmere, got it in fifth gear, baby
Life as an attached lady is fun, but sometimes one must live vicariously through their friends. The vivacious Cuckoo is going out on a blind date on Saturday! This is Cuckoo's first date in three years, and Mrs. Sellner and I are squeezing out every little drop of detail out of her, so we can share the drama. It's been three years since Cuckoo's last date, so she's a little out of practice. I've been with TBF for the same amount of time, but I still remember a thing or two from my dating machine days. Believe it: the Scarylibrarian was once really great at being single. It's nice to finally impart my knowledge onto somebody; I feel so Mr. Miyagi to Cuckoo's Karate Kid. For instance, never order anything involving long, stringy, spaghetti like noodles on your first date. Why? Cause it's too hard to eat. Nobody looks cute eating spaghetti. No foods with red sauce, either. There's too much potential for it to get on your clothes and stain your cute outfit.What constitutes a date? I'm a little old fashioned (more on this philosophy later) about what a date consists of - my guideline is that if he pays for the food, it's a date. Cuckoo is meeting Mr. Mystery for lunch at a restaurant, and asked me how she should handle the tab when the bill comes. Her options:
If she likes him: offer to split the tab. If he's a gentleman he'll insist on paying. If he pays for the meal and she thinks that she might want to see him again, she can say, "Okay ... but I'll have to get it next time." If he doesn't pay for the meal ... well, some ladies may interpret this as okay and that the guy is cool with the women's liberation movement. I would just think that fool was cheap. I'd advise her to feign a headache and go home and get over it, even if he looks like Kelly Slater.
If she doesn't like him: offer to split the tab. Again, if he's a gentleman he'll insist on paying. She should leave out the "I'll get it next time" bit. If she doesn't like him for reasons other than no chemistry (because he was rude or offensive during the dinner) I'd advise her to insist on paying her part. My reasoning - don't give him the satisfaction of thinking it was a date.
The secret to dating isn't all that complicated.I can't believe there's a whole genre of books dedicated to it at the bookstore. My great friend and dating guru, Bootastic, told me that it all boils down to two things. The first is mystery. You've got to be catchable, but not too catchable. The second thing is to have a good attitude. If you go into a date thinking "Oh my god, if I like this guy then we can start dating and then we can get engaged and then I can finally have that brood of children and the two car garage house I've always wanted" you will just turn yourself into a nut. Go into the situation knowing that hey, if it works out, cool, if it doesn't, at least you got the chance to meet a nice person who perhaps you could set a few of your single friends up with. You never know. They might have a friend who they could set you up with.
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